More Than I Did Yesterday

Every morning I wake up
Ready for anything
But telling myself
"I could never love him
More than I did yesterday."

Every night I go to bed
As blessed as ever
Thinking to myself
"Today he made me love him
More than I did yesterday."

Butterflies

In case you couldn't tell, I really like butterflies.  I mean, I'm obsessed with them, for so many reasons.  And I'm not talking just your normal, evolved-from-a-caterpillar butterflies.  I'm talking those oh-my-goodness-he's-so-cute-and-he's-looking-my-way butterflies.  Or those I'm-about-to-go-onstage-but-I'm-so-nervous butterflies.

I got those butterflies the other day.  The second kind.  The I-have-a-major-crush-on-him kind.  And you know why?  I got them because I was about to see my boyfriend.  I thought I'd already gotten through my butterfly-crush stage, but I guess I was wrong.  It was the best feeling in the world.  I already love him so much.  I used to think you couldn't have love and butterflies, because the butterflies were superficial.  That's not true at all.  I was so excited to see him, I turned into a school girl for a minute or two.  It was cute, and he enjoyed hearing about it :)

So I guess the point of this post is, never lose the butterflies.  They mean you care!  Yes, of course you care about that boy you like.  But that stage fright?  That shows you care, too.  My absolute favorite teacher of all time taught my high school drama class, and directed the fall production.  One year he told all of us that stage fright is completely normal and perfectly acceptable.  He said, in a nutshell, the worse your stage fright is, the more you care.  So think about that, the next you get anxious or excited.  It's not a bad thing, it's a good thing.  It proves you care about the subject of your butterflies.

Blessings

As I've gotten settled into college life and figured out how to balance my classes with my job with my friends with my boyfriend, I've been thinking a lot about how amazingly blessed I am.  Have you ever taken a moment to think of how many blessings God has given you?  Why don't you try it?

Tonight, I'm feeling particularly grateful for my wonderful boyfriend.  He is so many blessings rolled up in one amazing package.  Every day I am thankful that God brought us together.  My love for him is overwhelming at times--it's not even been two months!  But I try not to think about how crazy that sounds.  I love him, that's what's important.  And amazingly, he loves me as well.  He loves me in spite of my ton of  baggage, my ridiculous past, and my (sometimes very messed up) past relationships.  That is so huge for me. I am just in awe of how much his love covers that.  Yes, he knows a lot about me.  I think he even knows everything (I'm not really keeping track).  And yet, he still loves me, day in and day out, through all the stupid things I do or say or overreact to.

...

*clears throat* Now, back to blessings.

My family is one of my biggest blessings, too.  I'm not talking just my mom and my dad and my siblings.  My family isn't even limited to my aunts and uncles and cousins!  My family is everyone whom I love.  There's that word again--love.  It plays a big role in my everyday life, thankfully.  My family consists of the people who are there for me, who support me in everything I do, who stay involved in my life, and who let me stay involved in theirs.  I honestly don't know what I would do without my support system.

Next time you can't sleep, try counting blessings instead of sheep.  Or if you're ever having an off day, take a second to thank God for what you do have, instead of stressing over what you don't have.  It'll help, I promise.

And if you're going through a hard time, and you can't see the silver lining for the life of you, try listening to "Blessings" by Laura Story.  Those are some really powerful, very true lyrics.

I love love :)

When I say "love" I don't just mean romantic love (although, that's really fantastic!). I mean all sorts of love. Love from my family, love from my old friends, love from my new friends, love from my almost-family, and most importantly, love from my God. Love makes me feel like I belong somewhere, and like I have value as a person. To me, it also means trust. I can't love someone if I don't trust them. I know that's not the same for everybody, but I feel like that's generally true. I did one of those word search things on Facebook the other day. You know, "look at this word search, what words do you see first?" kind of things.  You know what I saw? "LOVE, FAMILY, and KNOWLEDGE." If that doesn't define a large part of me, I don't know what would.
So yes, love is a big deal. It's not something to ever be trivialized. You shouldn't say it just to get out of trouble, and it should never be reduced to a simple "Love ya!" as you're running out the door. If you truly love someone, take the time to tell them, in whichever you can.
This brings me to love languages. There are five of them, actually. Did you know that? Gary Chapman wrote a whole book about them (visit the site at 5lovelanguages.com). The different types of love are:
Physical Touch: hugging, handholding, etc.
Words of Affirmation: Praise, compliments, simply saying "I love you," or "I appreciate you."
Quality Time: Kind of obvious, but let me just say that there are different kinds--it's not always sitting in the same room watching TV together. Yes, you can do that sometimes, but make sure you do things one-on-one, where all your attention can be focused on the other person.
Gifts: Again, kind of obvious. Giving gifts is how you best display your love. It might not be fancy jewelry or expensive perfume, or other pricey things. It could just be a little something you say on your way home from work or class you thought the other person might like.
Acts of Service: Doing the dishes, washing the laundry, taking out the trash. Little things like that can scream "I LOVE YOU!"

Now, you don't have to be solely one category. I know I'm not! I receive (and give) love through Words of Affirmation, and I most certainly give (and sometimes receive) love through Physical Touch. Quality Time is important too, but I'd rather have someone hug me or tell me they love me than JUST spend time with me.

So the moral of this post is LOVE! Love with everything you have, because THAT'S the legacy you want to leave behind. My grandfather just passed away recently, and over all of the teasing and the funny stories, there's this aura of love. He just loved everyone, and that's what I want to be like. I want everyone to remember me for my unconditional love.

Hello, y'all!

Wow, it's seriously been a long time since I've written.

My summer was uneventful (for the most part)....

However I did get to go to Florida with Autumn for a week. That was great! :)

Other than that I pretty much just worked until I left for Kentucky.

Which is where I am now--in the middle of nowhere that is famous for how many restaurants per capita it has.  I find it funny that I go from one small town that's proud of something kinda funny, to another small town that's VERY proud of something so random.  Bowling Green doesn't really boast all-star athletes (except for Claire Donaghue, the girl who won the Olympic gold in swimming and graduated from WKU).  Nope, here they're proud of how many restaurants per capita they have--the most in the nation! I love meeting people from Bowling Green, because they're quite proud of that fact.

I've met a bunch of new people, and even have a pretty good group of friends.  My roommate and I get along pretty well (it helps that we're not in the room at the same time that often).  And you wanna know something awesome?  SHE BAKES! From scratch :) She makes the best cookies EVER! They're so delicious.

I also met a boy ;) He is sooo perfectly sweet to me.  He's funny, he's a strong Christian, and he's pretty darn smart.  His name's Ryun, and he's an architecture major.  We instantly hit it off (on the day we met, someone asked us if we were twins).  That night we went on what my roommate called a "fake date" (he took me out to dinner, just the two of us, but I wasn't sure how he meant it...).  Of course, after she said that, I completely panicked about everything--hair, makeup, clothes... WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?!?!? It went really well.  I liked the dinner, we talked about a lot of stuff, and it wasn't really all that awkward (yes, I was expecting awkwardness, at least on my end anyways).  Anyways, we exchanged numbers and just started hanging out.  He's living proof that chivalry isn't dead (he opens doors, pulls out chairs, carries groceries :P ... you name it, he does it. And not just for me, either, but for everyone).  It's so fantastic!  We can talk about anything and everything, whenever we need to.  We're both really open; If one of us has a question, the other will answer it to the best of their ability.  I love that :)  It's something I've never had in a relationship, and can't believe I went without for so long.

Well, I should go write my paper before this laptop dies...  I will try to keep y'all updated!

How to: 2.0

How to fight senioritis:

Stop caring about everything (i.e. parties, appearances, sleep) in order to focus on your grades.

How to:

How to pull back when flirting goes too far:

Don't let it get that far in the first place.


Just a friendly piece of advice.

1 Minute

She rolls up her sleeves.

Breathes.

Smiles.

Because this feels right.

She’ll leave this world.

This rotten world.

This poisonous world.

She grits her teeth

As the cold metal slides into her skin

Once.

Twice.

Countless times.

She falls over

Blissfully ignorant of the time

The screams

The sirens.

As someone sees her,

Misses her,

Tries to stop her,

A minute too late.

Guilty as Charged

I always tell myself I should post more often.  But I don't. So when I do, it ends up being really short as I jot off important events while running to do something else.

So, what's new, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

• I got the part of Dolly Tate in HHS's production of Annie Get Your Gun
• I finally finished PE, and subsequently switched into Psych
• I paid my housing deposit for WKU
• I'm on the job hunt, and
• I'm about to go watch Once Upon a Time. (WATCH IT. IT'S GOOD!)

And that is all. 

Goodnight, my fellow homo sapiens!